Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
