Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
