Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
