Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize