1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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