he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
