Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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