Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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