Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
