i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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