Im at strip club and am horny
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How drunk are you?
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