She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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