I'm pants shitting drunk right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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