I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
