forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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