I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
