I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
