Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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