so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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