Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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