the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
