I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
