she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
