More tranny stories later!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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