Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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