i was rollin on her like bob the builder
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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