A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize