So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
