his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
