Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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