But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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