Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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