so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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