Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
