Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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