Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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