I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
