I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize