I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
