omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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