He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
