i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
