you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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