I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
pop tarts are not kleenex
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
