she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
