worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
