Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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