At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
