This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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