Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
