The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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