lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
