is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
