atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize