the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
